2025-01-05
We all get ill sometimes. Ones more than others, I assume. New year, new sickness. It's part of being alive.
Our body is so complex. It hosts our brain. The brain is not the host. It's a guest of our body. It makes demands on our body. It consumes resources. It's an organ. A very important one, I would say.
Brainless, emotionless, void of thoughts. The body, would be that without the brain. Well, technically, the bowel is an organ that is called the second brain. What I ingest has consequences on my body health, ergo my brain also. (ergo is a fancy-cool word)
My food processing facility, aka the bowel, will be very angry (or sad) if I don't eat well. This pain will be shared with the brain. This pain will be brought to my mind.
My mind. My mind is a very unstable place to be in. Sometimes it is quite beautiful. While I am writing this, a few dozen thoughts are running through my mind. Usually, it feels like I am in a desert with winds so fast I can't keep up with my breath. A cloth barely helps to breath. I must try extra hard to just keep up with my body needs. Beeeeeeehhh! My body needs oxygen. Beeeeeeeehhh! My belly is tight. Relax. Anxiety all over. My neck muscles are all stressed. I am in a constant mental struggle. And all is a consequence to the eNvirONmENT growing up. It's so easy to get all tense and annoyed at that "single point" of failure.
It's simple yet complex. There seems to go a lot into having children. I don't think it's hard to have children. I think it's relatively easy to physically produce. I think it can be laborous to physically maintain children. But having a child is not about contradicting the numbers. Two people die, lets at least put one or two humans into the world, shall we. Those are the basics. That's a very common rule of thumb, or even tradition. Almost like a peer pressure to have a child, or two, or three...
The environment can be such a cruel place. We never really know what it can throw at us. Being honest about the uncertainty, and the outcomes can be the difference between growing up to be someone strong. Someone that is able to respect themselves no matter the context. And not someone that is constantly uncomfortable with their presence, thinking and rethinking about every decision already made or to-be made. Every current, past, and future interactions, all being meticuously calculated and simulated.
"What will this person think?"; "What if they say this?"; "If I choose to say this, then I will surely be seen this way. And that cannot happen!!" Doing things, not for self satisfaction, but in the search for satisfaction in the outside.
Now. How fucked up is that? From a scale of chillin to really fucking infuriating, I would go for the second one.